On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
