On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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