dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
operation harelip BJ is a go
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
