Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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