if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
