you turned your livingroom into a bong?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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