Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
We were destined to go to rehab together
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Randomize
