Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
