The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
