My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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