How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
