Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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