Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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