youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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