a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
