feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
