marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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