I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
