I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
