I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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