I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
