I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
