do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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