Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
