yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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