Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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