and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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