Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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