The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
