I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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