idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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