she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Ladies don't puke and tell
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
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