I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
