soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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