I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
