May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
