i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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