if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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