I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
