at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
