Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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