I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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