So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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