im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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