Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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