She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You were trust falling into bushes
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
