Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
