when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
