U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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