oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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