did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
