he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
