"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
