Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You are a genius and a whore.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize