it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
