He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
