Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
