u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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