She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
