pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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