Nicole vs. Life
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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