who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
