There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
